For someone who writes… I have no words

Only yesterday I blogged about how proud I am of our little blogging community. I am again today, but today is not about good news and good work. Today I am proud for a very different reason. Today I am proud of how we are supporting a fellow blogger through a tragic loss. My fellow preemie blogger, Jennie from Edspire, lost her gorgeous 9 month old baby girl Matilda Mae in the late hours of Saturday night.

It was sudden and unexpected.

I have no words for this tragedy.

I can’t begin to imagine what Jennie and David must be feeling right now. What they will feel in the months and years to come.

My heart aches for them.

My heart aches for Esther and William, Jennie’s preemie twins and the reason I know Jennie and her family. How are they to understand that their beautiful smiley baby sister has gone?

When I saw the news I just didn’t know what to say, what to do, whether to say or do anything. I’ve met Jennie and Matilda Mae just once at Britmums Live 2012 but I feel like I know them well. I watched Jennie’s pregnancy avidly on her blog, willing her to carry to term and rejoicing with her when she gave birth to a healthy and happy baby at full term. I have read every post Jennie has written about her beautiful little girl, along with her posts about Esther and William. I feel like I know them all so well, and yet I don’t. Not really.

When I read the news I cried silently.

Then I remembered something that was once said to me about supporting friends who have lost someone.

Don’t try to find magic words that will take away the pain. There aren’t any. A hug, a touch, and a simple, “I’m so sorry,” offer real comfort and support.

I offered this support through Social Media, even though it feels so impersonal, and I watched as through this virtual world the support, the hugs, the “touches” came flooding in.

FEATHERThis morning when I got up my heart was still heavy, thinking of the tragedy that has hit this loving family. I went to the loo, hit by the heartache again and crying silent tears for them. When I went back to our bedroom I found this next to our bed…

I’ve no idea where it came from. There were no open windows, we have no feather pillows and I didn’t see it as I left the room. But there it was when I got back. I have posted about white feathers before and what I think they mean when they appear. Yet again one appeared at the right time.

Matilda Mae, beautiful angel. Rest in peace.


In the blogging community, where the written word is everything, words are truly not enough.

I am proud of this community and it’s outpouring of love these last few days.

Jennie and your family, I am so very sorry for your loss. Matilda Mae’s smile brightened a room. The love you have for her and your gorgeous twins is so evident. Matilda was and always will be your beautiful, perfect daughter. Please know that we, us bloggers behind our computers, are holding your hand, through the ether. I hope this is of some comfort to you.

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  1. Kylie Hodges (@kykaree)

    I packed for London on Sunday morning. Before I read the news.

    This morning I dressed for work. My top is covered in pictures of feathers, when I took it out of the case I remembered that post, and I felt reassured.

    Matilda is all around though she is not where she should be

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